Rhiannon Elizabeth Irons
When it comes to the world of movies, we all have our guilty pleasures. Films that we deeply love, despite the consensus of the world going against us. You know the ones I mean. Those films that never fail to bring a smile to our face. The ones we hide at the back of our shelves or bury deeply in our Netflix history. The ones that bring a pink tinge to our cheeks whenever we mention their titles.
Between you and me, I’ve never liked the term “guilty pleasure” as it insinuates there’s something to be ashamed of. Let’s be honest, the world would be a boring place if we all liked the same things.
Each week on QUIZarenaLIVE we discuss guilty pleasures, and it got me thinking; maybe it’s time to address this topic head on and compile a list of my Top 13 Guilty Pleasure Movies.
13: Kindergarten Cop (1990)
A tough cop must pose as a kindergarten teacher in order to locate a dangerous criminal’s ex-wife, who may hold the key to putting him behind bars.
Confession: I’m not a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but there is something inherently hilarious about Kindergarten Cop. Arnold seemingly had a lot of fun with this movie, and it never fails to make me laugh when he screams “It’s not a tumor!”
I know you just shouted that line in a bad Arnold impersonation. Congratulations. We are one in the same.
12: Hard Target (1993)
A woman hires a drifter as her guide through New Orleans in search of her missing father. In the process, they discover a deadly game of cat and mouse behind his disappearance.
This won’t be the last time Jean-Claude Van Damme makes this list. As far as action stars go, he’s always been my favourite. His performance as Chance Bourdreaux teamed with John Woo’s (and Sam Raimi) direction makes for an action-packed night with an interesting premise of hunting people for sport. You'll be sitting on the edge of your seats.
11: High School Musical (2006)
A popular high school athlete and an academically gifted girl get roles in the school musical and develop a friendship that threatens East High’s social order.
It’s no surprise that I love Disney. Or musicals. So, when the house of mouse produced this Disney Channel Original feature, I was excited. Introducing Zac Efron to the world, High School Musical is a feel-good film with a killer soundtrack. Whenever you’re down, throw on Stick To The Status Quo or Getcha Head In The Game and just have fun. By the time Troy and Gabriella get their happily ever after, all your woes will be forgotten.
10: Accepted (2006)
A high school slacker who’s rejected from every school he applies to opts to create his own institution of higher learning, the South Harmon Institute of Technology, on a rundown piece of property near his hometown.
The college edition of Camp Nowhere (1994), this film stars Justin Long as Bartleby Gaines, a smart-talking, quick-thinking loser. Also starring Jonah Hill, Blake Lively, Lewis Black, Mark Derwin, and a pre-Gotham Robin Lord Taylor, Accepted is a rollercoaster of stupid fun. Watching them clean the abandoned building to turn it into their fictional college is a great throwback to montages of the 80s. But it’s the final showdown and Bartleby’s speech that really bring this film full circle.
9: The Banana Splits Movie (2019)
A family attend a live taping of The Banana Splits television series but are forced to survive as soon as the characters go haywire and start a killing spree around the studio.
I love the Banana Splits! I grew up watching reruns of the original show when I was kid. So, when I learned one of my favourite childhood memories was getting the horror movie treatment, I was thrilled. And while the movie isn’t great, I love everything about it. There’s enough nostalgia there for the most diehard Banana Splits fans and enough blood and gruesome killings for hardcore horror movie fans. Plus, there’s one hell of an earworm theme tune that will drive you absolutely bat-crap crazy. It’s FANTASTIC!
8: Cruel Intentions (1999)
Two vicious step-siblings of an elite Manhattan prep school make a wager; to deflower the new headmaster’s daughter before the start of term.
If I had to describe my personality with 3 fictional characters, it would be a combination of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, Randy Meeks from Scream, and Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel Intentions. I have a delightfully wicked side and Roger Kumble’s modern adaptation of Les Liaisons Dangereuses is just as wicked with a hot star-studded cast including Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, and Joshua Jackson. There’s only one downside to me sitting down to enjoy this film. Every time I do watch it, I wind up dying my hair brunette. Must be my inner bad girl coming out to play…
7: Go (1999)
The aftermath of a drug deal as told from three different points of view.
This was one of the first anthology films I ever saw, and the only reason I did was because it stars Scott Wolf. Criminally underrated, Go is fast-paced, comical, and a little sleezy. Which just adds to the fun of it.
Following employees of a small grocery store, the film has something for everyone. Sex, drugs, a 90’s rave, and even squeezes in a saucy trip to Las Vegas. If you haven’t seen this indie film, I highly recommend checking it out. Stars Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, Jay Mohr, Scott Wolf, and Taye Diggs.
6: Body Double (1984)
A young actor’s obsession with spying on a beautiful woman who lives nearby leads to a baffling series of events with drastic consequences.
Director Brian De Palma has always been inspired by Alfred Hitchcock, and Body Double is no exception. Although it is more subversive, sexually charged, and violent than anything Hitchcock ever made. This LA film noir/erotic thriller follows actor Jake Scully (Craig Wasson) as he becomes a Rear Window-like voyeur, spying on his sexy neighbor (Deborah Shelton). When she’s murdered, he gets caught up in solving the crime that he witnessed. Insert a porn star and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Critics are divided: Is it misogynic, or is it self-aware? Either way, while watching, we know it’s not as revered as De Palma’s Carrie or Scarface, but we can’t turn away. Maybe, secretly, we’re all voyeurs too…
5: Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
A disfigured composer sells his soul for the woman he loves so that she will perform his music. However, an evil record tycoon betrays him and steals his music to open his rock palace, The Paradise.
Yes, I’m the one to blame for Richard Lovegrove’s obsession during season 3 of QUIZarenaLIVE. I fully admit that I got him hooked on this Brian De Palma musical starring Paul Williams, William Finley, and Jessica Harper. Released a year before The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Phantom of the Paradise is criminally underrated. Often overshadowed by Rocky Horror, Phantom delivers over-the-top performances in a ritzy 70’s glamour setting with a killer soundtrack. If you haven’t seen it, you are sorely missing out. I actually prefer this to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
4: Grease 2 (1982)
A British student at a 1960’s American high school must prove himself to the leader of a girls’ gang whose members can only date greasers.
It’s no secret how much I love Grease. I even went as far as to write an opinion piece about how much Danny changed for Sandy, which you can read here. But what a lot of people don’t know is I’m actually a closeted fan of the sequel that stars Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield. The fact that some original movie’s stars liked Eddie Deezen, Dennis Stewart, Didi Conn, and Sid Caesar make an appearance just proves that Grease is still the word. The music isn’t as well known, but just as catchy. Songs like Back to School Again, Who’s That Guy? and We’ll Be Together get stuck in your head. I wanted to be Michelle Pfeiffer as she belted out Cool Rider. I’m sure there’s footage somewhere of me reenacting that scene. Plus, it’s educational. Reproduction, anyone? Subscribe to Under The Covers to see Richard performing it.
Sorry, I went off on a musical rant. Moral of this post, Grease 2 is a worthy sequel!
3: Phantom of the Opera (1989)
A young soprano becomes the obsession of a horribly disfigured composer, who has plans for those who oppose him or the young singer.
Before you roll your eyes and complain about another musical, hear me out. Yes, The Phantom of the Opera is best known as an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, but this version is a straight up horror movie. Starring Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street), and Jill Schoelen as the Phantom and Christine respectively, this adaptation is more aligned to the original novel from Gaston Leroux with an 80’s twist.
A beautifully Gothic story filled with music, tragedy, and Freddy freakin’ Krueger haunting an Opera house, this is one movie often overlooked when people discuss Robert Englund’s career in horror. But it’s worth every minute of the 93-minute run time.
2: Waxwork (1988)
A wax museum owner uses his horror exhibits to unleash evil on the world.
Stuck in the 80’s, Waxwork is a beautifully done B-graded movie that I often say could do with a modern remake. Written and directed by Anthony Hickox, this movie literally brings scenes from classic horror movies to life. Drawing unsuspecting viewers into the scenes on display, the classic monsters we’ve come to know and love like Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, and the Wolfman, are set out to kill the infiltrators to their stories.
Dedicated to Hammer, Argento, Romero, Dante, Landis, Spielberg, Wells, Carpenter, and many more, this is a love letter to the horror genre.
1: Street Fighter (1994)
Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of dictator, M. Bison and his cohorts.
I told you Jean-Claude Van Damme would make this list again. I love Street Fighter. It was a video game I grew up with and still play to this day. So, when I learned there was a movie based on the game, I had to see it.
Is it a great movie? Not by any means. But that doesn’t mean I love it any less. And you cannot deny that Raul Julia brought his A-game to his final role as General M. Bison. Ming-Na Wen was superb as Chun-Li while Byron Mann and Damian Chapa gave their all as Ryu and Ken. But it was seeing Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile that cemented my love for the film. And even went as far as to inspire me to become a martial artist myself.
With classic characters from the various reiterations of the games including E. Honda, Balrog, T. Hawk, and Cammy (played by Kylie Minogue), Street Fighter follows the battle of the United Nations teaming up to take on M. Bison as he attempts a takeover of the country of Shadaloo.
A beautifully bad film with one of the greatest performances from an ailing Raul Julia, Street Fight is my top guilty pleasure.
But then again, if you saw episode 19 of QUIZarenaLIVE, you already knew this…
BONUS GUILTY PLEASURES
Submerged (2011)
Lindsay is a teenage girl with a unique gift, but one that might literally be the death of her. In the small town of Willow Point, she discovers how evil can flourish in the commonest of places.
The first time I watched this film, it unnerved me. Not the film, per se, but rather the performance of Richard Lovegrove. You can read all about my experience with this film by checking out my review. And as an added bonus, there’s a direct link in the review for you to watch the movie.
Asylum (2016)
You have been accepted to appear on Paranormal Investigators, the reality television show that sees contestants explore abandoned and haunted locations throughout the world. You, and four others, will be exploring the infamous Westwood Asylum.
Shameless self-promotion here. Asylum is a short film based on a short story I wrote back in 2014. The horrors of this production are forever imbedded in my mind. As a film critic, I absolutely loathe the film because it is such a shlocky production. But as the author of the original story, the director of the film, and a last-minute stand-in when an actress pulled out, I have a lot of love for the movie. And seeing as 2023 marks a Return to Westwood Asylum, it seemed only fitting that we go back to where it all began…
Have you seen any of these films? What’s your take on them? Better yet, what are some of your guilty pleasures? Sound off in the comments below.